Roller Coaster Ride

Life is so crazy for me right now! A little over 2 months ago I left St John, and an abusive marriage. I moved here to Boulder, CO and the entire experience has been such a roller coaster ride. Some days I feel so strong and capable, like I can do anything. Other days I feel painfully alone in the world and at a loss as to where my life is heading. Unfortunately I feel alone and lost more than anything else. When I moved here I came with one suitcase and a few hundred dollars looking to start my life completely over. It has been an unimaginable struggle! There have been some wonderful highs, some devastating lows, and some times in between that find me bewildered and wondering what to do next. I'm really ready to get off this ride. I wouldn't mind a boring, mundane life as long as there was some love and companionship in it. I'm waiting for the day that things finally settle down for me. In the meantime I feel like I'm doing all the right things. I get up and go to work, I get out and try to meet new people, I'm in counseling once a week, I attend support groups, I try to stay active with biking, walks and yoga, I volunteer... I'm just waiting for the heartache and overwhelming loneliness to abate. Here's hoping it's sooner rather than later... Please send love and light my way? I need it!

xoxo,

Kourtnie